The Law of Surprise–How to Grow Through It

There is a saying among the network marketing professionals I partner with, “Some will, some won’t, so what, who’s next?” While this is a perfect saying to keep someone in the zone and focused on maintaining their speed and momentum in business, the reality of what it feels like is a bit more…surprising.

Surprise! Someone you believed in can’t believe in you yet.
Surprise! Someone you underestimated came out swingin’.
Surprise! Neither your fears nor your bravery can change a person.

There are a few reasons we feel surprised by people when we are putting ourselves out there in the marketplace, sharing the good news of our products, ideas, and services, and sincerely trying to add value to as many people as possible.

  1. We attach disappointment or hurt to the outcome when someone we placed our hope in doesn’t respond favorably like we wanted them to.
  2. We attach joy and excitement to the outcome when someone we placed our hope in responds better than we hoped.

Each person is going through seasons of crisis and blessing that may be totally invisible to us, and when they respond to our message, we realize that we pre-judged them before they heard it.  We learn to grow our empathy for the other person, and focus more on their needs, but we are also warriors who desire to grow and expand, and so we want results. We feel successful when we get results.  And we feel down when we don’t. Or more exactly, the crushing or exceeding of our expectations can directly change how we feel at any moment.

So how do we keep from going crazy on this see-saw of emotions? (And by the way, if you are thinking that you’d just rather not be on the see-saw and you don’t think it’s necessary, I don’t think you have found your work and your passion yet.) The answer is curiosity.  Surprise isn’t necessarily the bad thing- the bad thing is our decision to go from being surprised to beating ourselves up or turning away from the important work it takes to build our dream.  Surprise is a cousin to curiosity. So use that to your advantage!

What I mean is, going from surprise to curiosity helps take your experience and turn it into wisdom.  Is there something you missed at first that you can now see? Do you think that this observation can apply to future situations? How can you better share your message with people like that in the future? You won’t always have a huge revelation or know exactly how to learn from the event. But if you do, you’ve unlocked a key understanding to improving your performance and helping more people. And if you don’t, at least you got better at avoiding the hammer blow of disappointment that breaks down your energy and your will to keep putting yourself out there.  This journey to Greatness is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be surprises on the way, but they don’t have the power to take you out of the game. That choice is yours.

Stay Curious!